I know things would be hard, of course. This isn’t my first rodeo. Sorry, it’s my favourite phrase at the moment and I look for any excuse to use it. That being said, the reality of maternity leave 3 months in is still worth a conversation. If even a one sided one. I have loads of those these days.
I think being constantly sick and having such a rough pregnancy kept my attention firmly on getting through the then and now. Strangely, I didn’t give much thought to what life would be like once the baby actually arrived. Don’t get it twisted,I knew there would be sleepless nights. Days where I would give myself a mental high five for remembering to shower. A gold star would be pinned on my invisible reward chart if I shaved my legs some time before the next full moon. You know, that kind of thing. I was cognisant of what life with a new born baby would be like.
But somehow, even with that knowledge, being on maternity leave has been an eye opener. There’s so many things I thought I’d have under wraps by now that I can’t. My clean and tidy house for one. Newborn Bob lulled me into a false sense of security. I mean all she did was sleep. The Mr was on paternity leave, and armed with my newly purchased cleaning caddy full of products Pinterest had recommended, I was able to skip around the house, putting away dishes and keeping the laundry basket near empty. It was a breeze, I got so comfortable (or call it as it is – cocky) that I even shared my cleaning tips in a blog post.
Then my darling baby got older. She started staying awake for longer stretches of time. The adrenaline that had kept me higher than caffeine had ever managed started to dwindle. I no longer rushed around with the power of All Women. Now three months in, the cocky mum who multitasked on some epic Beyonce levels is no more. She’s been replaced with a woman who seriously debates whether her pajamas look too pajama-ish to wear to the corner shop. Because changing is just one thing too much. My tidy house? No more. Energy levels? An all time low.
People have offered to help. I’ve got amazing neighbours. I mention them a lot, both here and in real life. That’s because they really are amazing and I know if I really got to that stage of breaking point, I could knock on any of their doors and they’d happily watch the kids whilst I pottered around clearing up the crap or catching some sleep. I know they would because I’ve already had to take them up on the offer (thanks Sarah!).
I’ve tried getting out every day, even i it’s just to a local town or to walk around the village. We even tried a few different parent and baby groups. They’re not for everyone. They don’t seem to be for me. No offence to the nice mums, dads and carers I met there, but… Well just nope. I really enjoyed coming into work with both girls though and to be honest, I think they got more out of those interactions too.
The thing is, as sleep deprived as I am. As annoyed as I am about not having a a tidy, organised house, I love being at home. This is the first summer holiday I’ve had with Princess since she started school and she’s going into year five in September. Normally I get two weeks maximum.
Bob is a gorgeous, funny and cuddly baby. She makes me smile (and my boobs leak) just thinking about her. Like it hurts me to think that I’m halfway through my maternity leave already. I’m torn between being excited about the exciting job I get to return to and being heartbroken I’ll no longer to spend all day with her.
Maternity leave has been amazing, but tough going. Being out of my routine and being left in charge of a new tiny human is crazy hard. Being so in love with said tiny human that you find yourself up staring at her sleep when you should be getting some much needed sleep yourself, is all part of the job. The realities of maternity leave is less well manicured meet ups with other local parents and more jeans and a t-shirt trips to the local bakery. I’m not mad though. I’ve enjoyed getting to this halfway mark immensely. Spending all of this time with my newborn has been such a gift.
So for those who enjoy skim reading and didn’t really read what I wrote above, here’s the low down:
What I’ve learned so far during maternity leave:
Be kind to yourself physically and mentally
You are more than your job title
Life will carry on without you
Tired is the new normal
Breton stripes are a must
Don’t worry if your house is a mess
Showering deserves a high five
Social media and Netflix are saviours during 3am feeds or colic bouts
Nobody has a good explanation for colic
It’s ok to accept help
Parent and baby groups aren’t everyone’s cup of tea
Maternity leave goes super fast!
I’d planned to be well into a healthy eating regime by now. To be honest the beginning of each week starts well, then it’s a rapid decline into baked goods and fast food from the local service station. I’d also toyed with the idea of spending a month visiting relatives in Dominica with both kids. But, as I said, maternity leave goes really fast and we’ve not saved up anywhere near enough for plane tickets to the Caribbean. Spain would be pushing it at the moment, let alone a trans Atlantic flight! That’s not to say the next 3 months are going to be wasted. I’m still trying to live each day with intention and there’s loads of exciting things we plan to do before Bob goes to nursery and my maternity leave ends. Namely, make another baby.
No, I’m joking. Just wanted to see if you were still paying attention, because this is a mammoth of a brain fart post! I apologise but I get so excited when I find time to write, albeit with one hand whilst the other rocks a sleeping baby. But really, we’ve got fun bits planned!
So, how long did you spend on maternity or paternity leave? Did you do anything epic? Should we aim to do anything epic? Raising our tiny humans is epic in its own right anyways no?
Oh maternity leave. Such a double edged sword. Some days I’m desperate for my husband to get home and for some adult conversation, other days it goes like a dream and I feel awful for wishing days away. I was made redundant during my first maternity leave and as a result I’m now freelance and work from home, so I’ll probably start to work my KIT days soon (baby is 4 months old) and then start again properly in September. It goes so fast xxx
Oh wow, I was made redundant with my first pregnancy too, before I even gave birth! So terrible that it happened to you too. I’d planned to do a KIT day today but other half pulling extra shifts. 4 months already! time is really flying! xxxx