It’s been a couple of days now since my daughter went on a plane with her grandparents to the other side of the globe in the Caribbean. It’s something that’s been on the cards for years. Ever since the Princess was born in fact, they’ve been asking when we’d let them take her to Dominica but it was something I wasn’t really ok with. But now, let me tell you how and why I managed to become ok with sending my baby half way across the world without her parents.
Why I wasn’t comfortable in the past
I love my parents. I think they did an awesome job raising me (though I wish they taught me a bit more about being financially responsible, but that’s a whole other post for another day). They are epic people and Princess dotes on them as much as they do her. I trust them to look after her, so her safety and wellbeing was never the issue. The reason I wasn’t ok comfortable with her flying to the Caribbean for a holiday with them in the past was because they always wanted to go over the Christmas and neither me nor her dad wanted to spend Christmas without her, because, well you know, it’s Christmas!
What changed to make it ok this year
This year is my granddad’s 90th birthday, that’s like a big deal as it should be. I really wanted us all to fly over and celebrate with him, but there was no way money was going to stretch that far. It’s a shame, but with most things, that’s what it comes down to, plain hard cash or the lack of it.
We could afford to get the cash together for one flight and if anyone deserved to go with my parents it was Princess. How many children are lucky enough to meet their great-grandparents? I was lucky enough to meet my great-grandad in Dominica when I was the same age as Princess and it left a lasting impression on me. I’m honoured to be able to give her the same gift.
Being pregnant also made me think it would be a good idea to let her spend some quality time with her grandparents. She’s been finding the concept of moving from only child status to older sibling really hard to get her head around and time away from me seemed to be a good idea. I hope it helps. My heart has been aching knowing she’s so far away from me, and from the WhatsApp conversations we had the day after she arrived, it seems like the distance has made her feel the same. Perhaps there will be less side eyes at my growing stomach and more snuggles when she gets back? I can only hope.
Would I let her do it again?
Honestly, at this stage I’m not sure. She’s been away without us before, though within a couple of hours drive and we’re used to her spending a week or so of the half term or summer holidays with her grandparents, but being on the other side of the world is different. There’s this awful gut wrenching feeling – the feeling of having absolutely no control other anything, if something were to happen we can’t jump in our cars to rescue her and make her feel ok. That sucks. It sucked talking to her on the phone when she arrived, feeling tired and small. Oh so small and overwhelmed by it all, the heat, the new faces, new smells and exhaustion from an entire day of travelling.
It’s selfish. She’s probably coping absolutely fine without us, but we’re feeling incomplete without her. So I guess it rests on our ability to suck it up and do what makes her happiest, if that’s more overseas trips with her grandparents, aunts and uncles then I guess we’ll have to deal with it and give her the opportunity to experience all the wondrous things the world has to offer.
Very brave of you. I remember the first time I had to travel overseas without the kids… for up to 3 weeks. And while I enjoyed what I was doing and the experience of being abroad, boy did i miss the little blighters. Even sending E away on his first school trip for a week was a wrench. But you’re so right in that she’ll be making memories to treasure for a lifetime so you’re doing the right thing. Looking forward to hearing her reports of her trip x
Ahhh you GET me Uju! I miss the little one so badly. Strangely enough, I’ve worked away from her for 3 weeks when she was much younger and that was ok as she was safely in her regular environment. Something about her being in unexplored territory is making it worse. Guess it’s what you must have felt when E was on his school trip too!?