Seriously people, I’ve seen so many status updates, posts and memes in the last few days calling out parents for keeping up the guise of Father Christmas. Somehow allowing your kids to believe in the magic and mystery of Santa Claus and the Tooth Fairy is tantamount to being an untrustworthy parent who your kids will grow to loathe. Really? Let me tell you something, letting my kid believe in Santa doesn’t make me a bad parent.
Feeding my child heroin . Bad parenting. Not killing my child’s beliefs in Father Christmas or the Tooth Fairy? Not so much.
There’s honesty and there’s just plain bursting your kid’s bubbles for no good reason. I get that you worked damned hard to pay for the gifts under the tree and want full credit for them but it doesn’t mean you can’t keep the magic alive. My daughter knows we buy her gifts, but we also leave one under the tree which is snuck there the night before and signed of from Santa. It’s not the main gift, that’s usually ours or something from her grandparents, but it’s still special and exciting to have something from Father Christmas. This is probably the last year that she’ll believe in it. She’s already having her doubts and with many of her peers non-believers (thanks older siblings!) it’s only a matter of time before she decides it isn’t real too.
Will she turn around and feel betrayed by me and her dad for letting her believe in the magic? I doubt it. I didn’t hate my parents when I decided to no longer believe and I’m sure that you, reading this, didn’t either. It’s not about trust issues, it’s about stepping out of childhood. My daughter believes in fairy dust, mermaids and ancient goddesses. It’s all part of being a child, letting your imagination take you places and allowing your creativity to evolve. Why be responsible for stunting that?
I’ve become a bit obsessed with old episodes of NCIS. There’s a brilliantly talented forensic scientist called Abby in it. Her main field is science, she is trained in fact but it doesn’t stop her from being superstitious, and being a creative. In an episode I watched earlier this week there was a scene where this conversation happened:
Abby: I believe in magic, prayer and logic equally. Is that childish?
Honeycutt: No, it’s impossible.
Abby: So is what you’re saying.
I wanted to high five the tv! It’s not often that you meet an adult who is that comfortable to still believe in the unseen or unknown. I get that she’s a fictional character but it’s about what she represents. I don’t see why it’s a bad thing to let your kids believe in the unreal, or things we don’t believe to be real. I also think it’s fabulous and to be applauded when adults decide to believe in the magic of the unknown in spite of all the pressures in life not to.
My daughter understands there are wars, famine, natural disasters, racism and a load of other awful, negative issues happening throughout the world on a daily basis. She watches the news, we discuss these real issues as openly as you can do with an eight year old without scaring the crap out of them. She understands the harsh realities of life. What’s wrong with a little escapism in the shape of a tooth loving flying mini person or a rosy cheeked guy who leaves a gift once a year?
You may choose to tell your kids that these things are not real. That’s totally your decision, I won’t say it makes you a bad parent because I don’t believe it does, not in the slightest. We must all do what feels right to us and that may differ from the person next door to us or our sisters, or your best friends views. I can respect that and hope that you can respect my decision to let my kid believe.
Hello dear! I loved reading your post and I loved the pictures, too. My beautiful, a little magic in a world of brutes does no harm to anyone, quite the contrary. We must ignore this kind of comment, it is the best answer. Have a great week ahead 🙂
Oh wow I’m really shocked. To cast a comment that ANY parent is a bad parent is something that shouldn’t be done ( unless they are like, swinging them by the ears or something outragiously harmful etc ) I think things like Father Christmas, the Toothfairy, it’s all a bit of fun and there is nothing wrong with allowing your child to indulge in these for as long as possible to enjoy the most out of certain experiences like Christmas and losing a tooth to earn 50p or what have you. It’s no different then pretending there is a choo choo train coming to the babies mouth to get them to eat mushy pea’s.
Lucie xx
http://www.lucielovesit.com
Lucie, I seriously tried to ignore it on my Facebook feed but by the 3rd meme it had me wound up, we shouldn’t make parents feel bad about the way we choose to raise our kids if it isn’t harming them. It’s up to us if we let our kids believe in ‘make believe’ for a while!
Umm wow, I can’t believe there are people who think this makes you, and me, a bad parent. Childhood goes so fast, as you say they already know about the horrors in the world, letting them believe in a little magic does no harm.
There are many things which make a bad parent, this is so far from one of them.
My two still believe and I will be devastated when they stop believing in Santa, because a little magic and innocence will be lost.
And love Abby from NCIS, she talks total sense.xx
Abby totally rocks!
I agree, there are so many things that make a bad parent but I don’t think this is one of them! xxx