How to make your child communicate on the school run

I don’t know about you, but after the initial excitement in reception (Kindergarten) when my child would come running out of class full of beans, bursting to tell me every single minute detail of what she’d done that day, finding out about her school day became harder than trying to crack a KGB encrypted code.But now, getting your child to communicate on the school run is harder than squeezing into those jeans from 1999 that really should be sent to Oxfam.

A simple “how was your day?” went from being met with verbal diarrhoea to a shrug, grunt or if I were lucky and my daughter was feeling particularly communicative – “it was OK”. Rewording the question  as a way to trick her into a conversation, such as “Did you have a nice day?” would be met with a similar level of interaction.

So what did I do to turn the walk home after the school pick up into something more than a mummy monologue? What can you do to bring your kids out of the pre-dinner time silent slumps and become a more communicative child?

It starts in the morning

Make the mornings fun and come the afternoon pick up, they’re more likely to want to start off where they left off!

Kids and elephants never forget. Unless you bring a shiny/noisy/ fluffy distraction, in which case they may just let it slide. This time. (It’s a well known saying I’ll have you know.)

Sounds simple enough but I know mornings can be stressful, filled with missing shoes, lunch boxes left behind and cereal down the side of the TV (the last one might just be in my house) but if you drop your little gems off at the school gate in a whirlwind of heavy sighs (you), tears (theirs) and an air of negativity, chances are as much as you’d have moved on from the morning’s antics come home time, the kids won’t have and they won’t be in the best mood to share the happenings of their day with you!

Set up questions or challenges which will need a follow up.

Because really, who doesn’t like a challenge?

I watched a group of 20 kids pick up tiny specs of confetti off my parents living room floor because a lady dressed in a princess costume, holding a microphone told them to do so. The winner got the glorious prize of…. being told they were the victor. That’s right, an overly emotive Elsa look alike challenges the kids to find all of the green plastic sparkles and they’re off at the speed of light, yet if I want my daughter to pick the Barbie Glam Camper Van out of the hallway, chances are it will still be there the next day.

Try this:

Set your kids a challenge to think of three interesting things that happen or they are taught during the day and that they must tell you after school.Or to tell you about something starting with the letter B,C, or D. They’ll find something. I kid you not.

They are resourceful and imaginative. This might only work with the primary school aged children. The secondary lot may grunt and roll their eyes. It’s part of being a teen, just deal.

Ask strange questions

The more ridiculous the better. They may be met with incredulous looks, but your kids are bound to answer you, if only to check that they really heard what they thought they did.

Here’s some potential party starters:

• So, I heard you were having a supply teacher from Pluto today, how did that go?
• How was lunch? Did you find the yo-yo I left in your sandwiches?
• Is it true that kids in your year have to sit upside down in assembly?
• I bet you can’t tell me how school was today without using the word and…

Once they get over the odd looks, ask some open ended questions and get that conversation started. It feels great when kids open up and tell you the small details, whether it is what they liked about their school lunch to which teacher sneezes whenever they say the word frog. Those moments are so special and should be cherished.

Last tip and probably the most important:

If they talk, be sure to listen.

I mean really listen. Put down the phone, Facebook can be updated later. If they’ve deemed you trusted enough to share their day with, show them the courtesy of being present, otherwise they may just decide not to tell you anything any more.