Dear So and So . . .(The Commute)

Dear Tourists (non-regular TFL commuters):
If you want to get on the tube it is preferable to stand somewhere near the yellow lines. You may notice people seem to congregate extremely close together in small bunches, equally spaced out throughout the platform. This is because we (the regular tube commuters) know exactly where the train doors are going to open. If you a) decide to take a seat on the benches against the station walls or b) stand between the groups of clever people waiting by the doors – you are not very likely to get on any trains! Simples. So no point huffing and puffin and looking perplexed when you don’t get on.

Dear Docklands Light Railway Driver:
I know you really enjoy the loud speaker thingy on the DLR really fun but it doesn’t mean it is appropriate to give a running commentary throughout the entire journey. At 08:14 in the morning the only announcement I need interrupting my thought processes is whether or not my train is going to stop at my station. Period.

“Good morning Ladies and Gentlemen, boys and girls, we are now arriving at *** where this train will terminate, I hope you have all had a pleasant journey on the Docklands Light Railway and thoroughly enjoy your day“
– IS OVERKILL.
You know who you are . . you do it everyday, I admit I do like your voice. Perhaps you should consider a career as the voice over guy on ITV or The National Lottery?

Dear Transport For London:
Stop closing the bloody tube lines over the weekend! I spend all week at work, looking forwards to the weekend, only to find my routes around London thoroughly disrupted in what is valuable leisure time. What could you possibly be repairing that requires a year’s worth of weekend line closures? If the world was only built in 6 days why does it take you so long to perform engineering works on the Jubilee Line?

OOh this is rather therapeutic! Thanks Kat!