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Faking Orgasms? Nooo Never Darling!!?

I was watching When Harry Met Sally and it of course when the famous restaurant scene came on I was in stitches. I’d been talking to my girlfriends recently about orgasms and how sometimes we, well let’s say, embellish in order to stroke our man’s egos! In the scene (embedded below) Sally shows Harry just how easy it is for a lady to put on a Oscar worthy fake orgasm, much to the bemusement of fellow diners.

You may want to plug in the headphones before you press play otherwise you may get some odd looks  . .

I think it’s fair to say the majority of women can confess (though maybe only to other women) to faking orgasms in order to speed things along, stroke their partner’s ego or simply make their partner feel good. It’s not to say we were not enjoying sex, just that for whatever reason, it just isn’t as earth shattering as our partner would like it to be.

I have a friend who argues she’d never fake an orgasm as it gives the man the wrong impression. If they are not hitting the spot, but we let them believe they are, they’ll keep on missing the spot. She prefers to politely tell them that it didn’t do it for her and explain what would. I think that’s healthy and probably a much better idea, especially if you’re hoping on  along term relationship with him. Imagine five years down the line, still having to ‘fake it’ because your guy is so sure he’s rocking your world and you’re being too ‘nice’ to admit he isn’t? Not exactly conducive for a healthy sexual relationship is it?

Maybe you weren’t really in the mood for it, maybe your mind is elsewhere, whatever the reason, have you faked it? If not, why not? Would you let your partner know (maybe not a good idea right after the act) that you’ve faked it with him or with past partners!?

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  1. Tinuke B

    April 1, 2012 at 9:40 pm

    >Haha I know what you mean about being frank online, my hubby nearly choked when he overheard me chatting to a friend about this post, though I'm sure he wont actually go online and read it for fear of what I actually said!

    I totally feel you on not being in the mood at times – I can get the same but as long as there's a happy ending, everyone's happy so to speak ! loool oh gosh I am now blushing!


  2. TheBoyandMe

    April 1, 2012 at 8:59 pm

    >Hmmm, interesting post. I'll confess to a mix of both; I've faked and hubby knows I have. However, he also knows it's not him, sometimes I'm just not quite in the mood to let go completely. And then he doesn't give up and I end up with a very satisfactory result in other ways ;-)

    (OMG! I've never been so frank online before!)


  3. Tinuke B

    March 20, 2012 at 6:40 pm

    >I remember your story well, it struck a cord with me when reading through your posts the first time, maybe because we are similar ages, as are our kids??

    If he blamed you for not having an orgasm he's a right doughnut! I am kissing my teeth and shaking my head as I think about it!


  4. Makeshift Mummy

    March 20, 2012 at 5:14 pm

    >Well let me tell you, I had to fake it sometimes with Younglings daddy (yes we are separated – long story go to http://www.makeshiftmummy.com – too long to write here lol). basically he would make out that it was MY problem if I couldn't orgasm! I mean how insulting. Yeah that's definitely going to get me going isn't it? Did he never think for one minute that it could have something to do with his own erectile dysfunctions! grr. Not bitter – no not at all – just unsatisfied ;-) Clearly xx


  5. Tinuke B

    March 17, 2012 at 9:46 am

    >Hi Jess,

    Thanks for stopping by! Isn't Love All Blogs great!?
    Totally feel get your point in making the guys work harder if they're not getting it right! I think it's important thy both partners get something amazing from the experience, otherwise what would be the point?!


  6. The Perfect Romance Experiment

    March 16, 2012 at 11:31 pm

    >I have never faked it! If it's not 'working' then I will usually just let my OH work a bit harder! We have been together for nearly ten years though, if it was someone who I have just met then I think I would just tell them what to do differently otherwise thy will never know and you will end up faking it for years! Thanks for linking up to Love All Blogs, Jess x


  7. Tinuke B

    March 13, 2012 at 11:45 pm

    >I agree, it's important to strike a balance!


  8. Mini

    March 13, 2012 at 11:31 am

    >I agree its good to stroke a mans ego from time to time but if they're just not hitting it, they have to be told! Otherwise I fear the relationship will only go downhill..


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About Circus Mum

A 20-something mum of one, I'm constantly juggling my loves (get it - juggling??) trying to find some sort of balance between being a mother, career focussed, a great partner, friend and all the other hats I choose to wear. If you're looking for advice on nappy rash cream you may have taken a wrong turn...

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